Monday, November 1, 2010

Love is a gift, not an obligation.

I love that trust is being built where there was none before. This might be a really funny analogy but I feel trusted when I'm driving kids around, and they can fall asleep. It makes me feel like they know I will keep them safe, so they can rest their heads. "To be trusted is a greater compliment than being loved." -George MacDonald. Trust is something that is very important to me because I haven't always been a trusting person myself. I've felt abandoned, lied to, stepped on, and pushed around. Learning how to re-trust someone is not an easy task, let alone trusting a stranger. I've had multiple conversations with our girls starting with "I don't expect you to trust me..." and I don't, honestly. These girls have been through enough, the last thing they want to do is put themselves in a position to be hurt again. I know I'm not perfect, and I let them know that I will make mistakes, and I will probably make a wrong decision and have to apologize for it... But all I have in my heart is compassion and care and a genuine love. I do worry about their futures, I worry that if they don't know that they have someone to fall back on, someone that will wrap them up in love even when they screw up royally, that they will turn to something or someone else to accept them. That's one of my greatest fears, but all I can do is continue to pray, stay consistent, and tell them that we care, even when it seems to them like we don't.

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