Friday, November 5, 2010


I feel a little like when a child is following their parent, but they're doing it at a distance. They get distracted by the things beyond the sidewalk. Their parent's shadow is in front of them, so they decide to jump on it, aware that it won't do anything, but hoping that something spectacular will happen. Seeing a pretty white fluffy flower in the grass, they pick it and carry it with them, thinking that this flower will last forever (even though the last one didn't). They look into the sky and begin to imagine animals out of the clouds. They get so lost in imagination that they forget to pay attention and BOOM! They run into the back of mom or dad's legs. And to top it all off, they look down to see that their beautiful flower has all blown away into the wind.

I've had my head in the clouds. And now, reality has hit me. I wasn't prepared for it. It hurt, a lot. It knocked me backwards for a moment. It's my own fault for not paying attention. Now though, I feel a greater obligation to make sure the people in my life know that I love them. They will probably get sick of me, but that's ok. I realize now how delicate life is and how short it can be. We only get one chance to walk this thing out, and in an instant, it could be gone.

Relationships are hard work, but they are what matter. We as human beings have a deep-rooted need, a desire for intimacy. The longing to be cared for and to care for others is what allows us to live more fulfilling lives. It becomes so much more meaningful to share our common experiences and and interests when we have others that we care about to share them with. If we have experiences but there is no fellowship, it almost seems pointless.

I'm ready for this season to be over and for the next one to begin. There has been a lot of joy, in addition, a great deal of pain. I'm not expecting that the next season will not include both happiness and sorrow because there is room for growth in each of those areas. But I am hoping that I will find some peace. Peace of mind, peace of heart, piece of soul.